Eric Dane of Grey's Anatomy and Euphoria fame recently revealed a surprising silver lining to his recent ALS diagnosis. The actor spoke with Diane Sawyer in a Good Morning America interview that aired Monday.

My husband who used to be active and social, has fallen into a funk. This has been going on for some time. He just sits all day and watches TV or is on his computer. I believe him to also be an alcoholic.

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So, ask her. “Are we OK? I haven’t gotten an invite to the shower, and it would hurt to not be there and celebrate your daughter. But I want to check in with you to make sure I haven’t misread anything or missed a cue.”

Once you have a plan in place, tell him that this situation is not acceptable to you, a number of things need to change, and that if he won’t seek help, you can’t keep going as you have. It may help to have a friend or loved one with you for this conversation.